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Question:
How
are women controlled by the inherent patriarchy of QF?
The
ultimate pressure to conform to the standards of QF/P does come
through shunning, but this can happen while a member is still a part
of a group. Those who fit the group ideal and bring a positive image
to a church will be rewarded through positive reinforcement, and
their compliance will be rewarded. However, those who decide to veer
away from the desired ideal will encounter informal exclusion.
They will be excluded from events, and their children will be passed over for good opportunities as a punishment for nonconformity. Because self-worth gradually shifts over to how the group esteems you and your family, this manipulation proves quite powerful. I was subject to confrontative lectures by women in leadership who attempted to regain my conformity near the end of my four year experience in a high demand church. They usually included confusing double bind criticisms that placed me in no-win situations that made no functional sense, save to shame me into compliance.
They will be excluded from events, and their children will be passed over for good opportunities as a punishment for nonconformity. Because self-worth gradually shifts over to how the group esteems you and your family, this manipulation proves quite powerful. I was subject to confrontative lectures by women in leadership who attempted to regain my conformity near the end of my four year experience in a high demand church. They usually included confusing double bind criticisms that placed me in no-win situations that made no functional sense, save to shame me into compliance.
Some
groups do also use formal discipline which has even been coined with
the moniker of having been “Matthew
18ed,” based on the passage of Scripture which its adherents
claim as a procedure for punishing a person (and family) for
noncompliance. Under the guise of just having time to talk openly
with leadership about concerns, a church I once attended conducted
what I referred to as “star chamber” meetings that were in fact
designed to shame a problematic member into submission.
At the far extreme, a family can be “disfellowshiped” or shunned, basically at the whim of a leader who decides to deem a member no longer Christian, regardless of their own profession of faith. Aggressive leadership can also turn members over to a church court systems for this purpose so that they can pursue legal action against members (see link under subheading “Declaring others unbelievers to trigger the option to sue”). Ken Sande, an attorney who played a very active role within this movement teaches this process in his book, The Peacemaker (Appendix D; pg. 282).
But all people who attend such groups understand that when they leave a group or remain a nonconforming member that they lose all sense of personhood.
At the far extreme, a family can be “disfellowshiped” or shunned, basically at the whim of a leader who decides to deem a member no longer Christian, regardless of their own profession of faith. Aggressive leadership can also turn members over to a church court systems for this purpose so that they can pursue legal action against members (see link under subheading “Declaring others unbelievers to trigger the option to sue”). Ken Sande, an attorney who played a very active role within this movement teaches this process in his book, The Peacemaker (Appendix D; pg. 282).
But all people who attend such groups understand that when they leave a group or remain a nonconforming member that they lose all sense of personhood.
~
Cynthia Kunsman
The
view of Quiverfull from my vantage
August
2015
