This post is part of a series examining the “strange woman” doctrine.
The concept of a “strange woman” is an unofficial doctrine** held by some Independent Fundamental Baptists concerning sexually abused girls: They become human garbage and things to be used, to be dispensed with in whatever way is convenient to those who have charge over them. Note that many doctrines in a high demand group are not formally documented but become part of the oral tradition or the hidden curriculum** of their culture and are often more powerful rules than the formally stated ones.
Ron Williams of Hephzibah House offers a very lengthy sermon about this insidiously taught doctrine causing pastors confront occurrences of sexual abuse in their congregations and in educational settings. (Full sermon transcript available HERE. Audio available HERE.)
According to Williams, marriage must be entirely pragmatic, based on the dispassionate benefits of joining families, not on love or attraction at all.
™ QUOTE: Part I Selecting Marriage Partners
And what I mean by that is *uh* their basis for marriage is not God's best but rather what appeals to my senses, what appeals to my flesh, what appeals to my feelings and emotions. . . And all of these indescribable, emotional, sensual-type things that really are more accurately described as being hormones, and glands, and flesh, and lower nature.
[. . .]
You know, when you marry, you're not just joining two individuals. You're joining two families. . . In other words, spiritual considerations ought to be primary instead of fleshly ones. Because if you once allow feelings and flesh to become involved . . . you will no longer listen to logic, or principle, or reason.
™ QUOTE: Part I, Jacob Selects a Wife
[H]er name was Leah. She was, uh, you might call her the 'Plain Jane.' You wouldn't pick her out of a crowd. . . . Now Rachel on the other hand, Wowww! Whew! Man! Whoo! She was bea-uuu-tiful and well favored.
[. . .]
And he started looking at Rachel through eyes of flesh.
Genesis 29:10-11(ESV) Now as soon as Jacob saw Rachel the daughter of Laban his mother's brother, and the sheep of Laban his mother's brother, Jacob came near and rolled the stone from the well's mouth and watered the flock of Laban his mother's brother. Then Jacob kissed Rachel and wept aloud.
When a young man wants nothing but sex, does he weep after he kisses a girl for the first time? Does he immediately go to her father and ask for her hand in marriage? Or does he try to have sex with her without marrying her, using her for his own gratification only? What here attests that he only wanted Rachel for sex? Nothing does.
The fact that he focuses on the fact that they are kin when speaking to both Rachel and Laban indicates that he was seeking God and what was best for their families. He also finds Laban's interest and favor. The interactions among all of them depict the opposite of what rebellious teenagers do when they marry a mate of whom their parents do not approve. Williams' use of this example and his dramatics have no support in Scripture.