Open Letter to Anna Duggar: "Teach Them to Breathe Fire"

Link HERE to the commentary at Us Weekly

The August 20, 2016 letter 

as it appears on Facebook:

I know everybody is laughing about this Josh Duggar story. Oh, a DUGGAR on Ashley Madison, it's so rich! I wish more people would talk about Anna. I normally keep things light on Facebook, but let's talk about Anna.

Will Anna Duggar be offered as the next live sacrifice to save the Duggar Family Brand? Scapegoating, Spread Your Legs Theology, and the Modern Molech

Originally published at UnderMuchGrace.com and SpiritualSoundingBoard.com

August 2015

 

(Please take note of embedded links 

for background information.)

I’ve tried for more than 48 hours to write this, but having watched this scenario play out with other followers of Bill Gothard, it brings up so many disturbing emotions for me, I found myself too caught up in them.  As the media begins to report, Anna Duggar will share in the blame for her husband’s sins and divorce will be strongly discouraged if not demonized.  I’ve watched it happen with other people who follow this belief system, over and over again. 

Blanket Training from a Bill Gothard Homeschooling Mothers' Support Network (1999)

The Advanced Training Institute (ATI) is the name of Bill Gothard's homeschooling program under the primary organization called the Institute in Basic Life Principles (IBLP). This documentation turned up on a Yahoo Discussion Group for those who were considering leaving Gothard's system. I have met, in person, the woman who posted this information, and I confirmed the information which was also forwarded to me by the other administrator of the group at that time (ten years later). I've included the top of the email and the header from the administrator, and I've included choppy screen shots of a now defunct online forum where the information was also posted. (It still appears in the internet cache.) Two different administrators sent me identical information when I requested it directly from them.

The Day the Duggars Promoted Michael Pearl's "Family Friendly Products"

When controversy concerning Michael Pearl followed after the death of Lydia Schatz and the renal failure induced in her sister due to the use of Michael Pearl's techniques, the Duggar Family seemed quite happy to drop their open support of Pearl's “ministry.”

Their current website doesn't show past information about their “Amazon Blitz” book launch, but their support of Pearl and their “finest in family friendly, value-based” products can be viewed on the Internet Archive.

Both the Pearls and the Duggars attest that they are Independent Fundamental Baptists, and the materials of the Pearls saturated so many sectors of the Christian homeschooling community. Naturally, they included the Pearls' publications and their support of their organization in their own book campaign.

Blanket Time vs Blanket Training, the Rod, and the Duggars

  

The Duggars seem to skirt the issue of corporal punishment and offer what seems to be a retelling of the child training methods that are already popular within their Independent Baptist and homeschooling circles. They have also studied and recommended the writings of Michael Pearl in the past. 

Blanket training was adapted from Pearl to what has been renamed “blanket time” (as BabyWise/Gary Ezzo coined it) -- or what Michelle has coined here as “quiet and still.”  Perhaps the word "time" seems softer than "training," or at least more human -- for the whole method is based on how one goes about training animals.  She refers to the method in general terms (in their books and on their website), yet she still uses the shared language within these communities such as the reference to blanket training as “a playpen in a purse.”

Pressures on Children within Quiverfull And Patriarchy

In Chapter 3 of the recovery book, Take Back Your Life, Lalich and Tobias explain the additional pressures that children face from childhood into adulthood, all of which tend to keep them silent and powerless. I’ve listed only some of these pressures, personalizing them for those who grew up in the Quiverfull/Patriarchy Movement. To that list, I would add the lifelong physical consequences and the profound psychological toll associated with Developmental Trauma Disorder.

• The group’s world and perspective may be all that they’ve ever known. (How does a child do something that they have never experienced and lack the skills to accomplish and perhaps even the vocabulary to describe these tasks?)
• They fear the unsafe and evil outside world, both physically and in terms of ideas which are seen as more destructive. (See writings concerning young women in patriarchy.)
• Restricted self-determination, particularly for daughters, at the discretion of the visionary patriarch of the family for whom they exist to serve until given in marriage to their own new male covering.
• Unmarried girls are the de facto property of their parents, as the wife is considered the property of her husband.

What Those Outside the System and the Adult Recruit Take for Granted

When people outside of a spiritually abusive system or adults who choose to join a group consider the actions of a Second Generation Adult (SGA), they usually fail to take these developmental gaps into consideration. 

They also forget about the dependency of a child and the fact that the child doesn’t have the ability to challenge a parent through critical thinking. This generally does not start developing in the manner that most people expect until about age 12. This is why algebra is taught in high school and not taught to typical eight year olds. Younger children don’t yet have that ability.